Maybe You Can Help

One of the women I know via TechnoDyke.com's message board, and who also happens to be in transition, got the following email regarding her GaydarGirls.com (GDG) account:

support@gaydargirls.com
Hi,
Thank you for your message.

I am sorry but we have had to remove your profile as you seem to be a male (pre-op) user. GaydarGirls is strictly for female users only I am afraid. If you wish, you can create a profile in GaydarGuys instead.

Regards,
Ayumi

How insulting is THAT crap?! Just because she's pre-op, she's getting banned and was recommended a site for men?! She's had a paid account for TWO YEARS at that site, and there is really NO CALL for it. What is SO inappropriate about someone who identifies as female posting on a lesbian- and female-oriented site? Even per their own terms of use which they claim is the reason for her being booted off of the site:

6.2.1 remove any Member profile (including photographs) or other material that, in Our sole discretion may be inappropriate or We suspect to be illegal, subject Us to liability or which may violate these Membership Terms and Conditions or where required to do so by law

One of the other members of TD sent a LONG, nasty email to GDG, and excerpted here:

Unfortunately I have heard that a very valued and respected member of our community, xxxxx xxxxxxxxx, had a membership with your site for at least 2 years, which was suddenly cancelled without warning. Upon asking as to why her membership was cancelled, she was informed that she was a man because she had not had sexual-reassignment surgery and therefore could not be allowed to participate in GaydarGirls.

I assume from the name "Ayumi" you are Asian (although I have no proof for this, you could be anything). How would you like it if i excluded you from a site I was running simply on the association of your name with being Asian? Maybe I don't like Asians. Maybe I assume Asians can't be "proper" lesbians due to "Asian" culture and background. Or maybe I haven't met any Asian lesbians. Maybe I just told you to "go join an straight Asian site instead". That would be assumptious, racist, and wrong. Now replace asian with "transsexual".

I must say I find it sexist, transphobic, hurtful and short-sighted that you are purposefully excluding someone from your site whose identity you do not understand or agree with from a personal point of view. I find it unusual that you claim to possess the knowledge to diagnose someone's gender (has a penis=man, has a vagina=woman)...you deem yourself capable to answer questions medical experts, philosophers, sexologists, counsellors and gender specialists have been asking for over 200 years or so. And many experts of the field have come to conclusion over the years that gender and genitalia are two completely different things that do not have to match. Meaning that someone who has a penis and testicles may not necessarily be a man, live like a man, feel like a man, act like a man, have relationships as a man, or see themselves as a man. And vice versa. And the fact that you unthinkingly tell someone who is not your kind of lesbian she should go join a gay man's website is nothing short of ludicrious. If it weren't so...viciously stupid, I would laugh.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg on what she wrote. Now, for those of you who are either deal with transgender issues personally or are close to someone who does deal with them, I urge you to email support@gaydargirls.com and let them know what you think of their philosophy on this issue! I promise you that if enough of us let them know how we feel about this through our emails, they maybe will think a bit and hopefully EDUCATE themselves, as well as change their policy on transwomen.

Katie